I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
