I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
