Someone shit on the floor
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
