So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
