Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
