Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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