I love black thongs
I want to have your abortion
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
