after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
