I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
