Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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