goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize