I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
