Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
