I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
