is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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