Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
