Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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