We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
