Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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