we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
