You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
