Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
