My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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