Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
