You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
