break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize