If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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