Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
