Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
