Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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