Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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