Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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