who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
