We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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