"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize