Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
