All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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