ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
