he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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