I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This house was built for laser tag.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
