You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
