4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Still dying that you shit outside
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
