i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize