I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
