Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
