my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
