How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
