Porn is love you can see.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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