I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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