I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
