i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
