dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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