problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You ate ashes out of my bong
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
