In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
