Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
