I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize