you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
