I will die if light touches me.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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