BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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