the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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