found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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