Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
