but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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