awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
